just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
