Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
