Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
