i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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