Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
