yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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