How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I skipped work to stalk him.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
