I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
