i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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