Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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