Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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