I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize