She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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