My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
