Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
