I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
