hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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