Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
