I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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