Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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