New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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