yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
