Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
