the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
