YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
