Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
