I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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