You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I FOUND THE LEGS
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
