shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
