this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
