We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize