i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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