now i know why i became what i already was.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
