cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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