oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
