i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
