U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
