Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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