Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
where am i from again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
