My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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