i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
