Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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