You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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