is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
