Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
