i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
