did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
