Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
