a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize