You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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