I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
