our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
