what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
