ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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