I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
