the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize