i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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