just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
