Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
