You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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