do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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