Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
