Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
