My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
