Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
