I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
