I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
