the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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