Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
