He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
