I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
