Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
