And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
