You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
