im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
