I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize