What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
